I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
