Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
