I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
