so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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