her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
