nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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