stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she told me i tasted like america
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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