Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
