Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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