there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
