Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
