Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Two words: blizzard sex
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
