i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
