Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
