He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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