i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
