Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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