he shaved USA in his pubs
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
