In America we eat man semen.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
