piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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