Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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