I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
