do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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