just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
