we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
