Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
