Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
