Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
