so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
