how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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