A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
