My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
