The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
