I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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