I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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