so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
