How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
