We won't sleep together?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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