how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
