my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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