Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
