I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
