Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
