just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
