I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
