Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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