i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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