I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
