I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
