One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
