I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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